You're welcome to keep these words.
+ links for LA & more
I’m holding a lot of grief around the fires in LA--my own, and for the land, all its animals, for the neighborhoods and communities, and for the many Angelenos who’ve lost everything.
I was in LA the week before the fires and flew back to SF about 24 hours before they started. It’s not only heartbreaking but unmooring to visit places you love, and then days later, still holding them in your cellular memory, watch them being swallowed by flames via livestream.
I know many of you are having a hard time, over the fires and so many other things. Last year brought a lot of shock, fear, grief and trauma. I can feel the fragility of our collective in this moment hanging on against the weight of so many scary unknowns.
Over the holiday I worked on a post-new-years essay about a very different topic that I thought I’d be sending today that will now have to wait for another time.
Today, I’m writing for those who want to avert their eyes toward a safe, private space, just so they can soften and breathe--and for those afraid to look away, compelled to stand strong and protect what they hold sacred, even when they feel like hiding.
For those clinging to cherished memories for comfort, and those preoccupied with the future, trying to imagine a space where they might belong.
For those rethinking everything from the ground up after a betrayal of their trust and a throttling of their basic reality, and those who don’t know what they feel because their insides are either a wild swirl of sensation or numb and silent as a stone.
I’m all of these people right now--and also so much that I can’t yet name or emit.
While unpacking my suitcase after my holiday travels (SF > NY > LA > SF), I found a scrap of paper tucked among some rumpled notes. I don’t remember where it came from. I’m not sure the handwriting is mine. It says...
“Let it all happen: the beauty and the terror.
Move through it. Nothing is final.
Rest as needed.”
I think I’ll keep these words for awhile. Perhaps this will be my motto for the year.
Every time I’m blown off course in the near future, I’ll try to remember to promptly reset my compass in the direction I need to go, and just keep moving so long as my eyes and heart are open, and pause when they grow weary.
Writing out these feelings and intentions and sharing them with you, I feel my nervous system unclenching just a little.
I wouldn’t be comfortable offering advice even if I had some. Maybe advice is not what we most need right now. I feel like I need you, and all my people, and I need places where we can be together.
Every time I write you one of these letters, I do so from such a place.
I’m also including some links, including some for LA--links to donate, but also find people, mark yourself safe, get free mental health support, and more. Give what you can, and if you can’t give, do what you can.
MUSIC
Music sustained me in a big way last year. One artist that is still carrying me through is Mustafa (formerly known as Mustafa the Poet). Such a young artist, he awes me with his ability to transmit powerful beauty and truth in such a seemingly effortless way. Maybe listen to his latest “Dunya” while perusing the links below. SPOTIFY | BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC
LA FIRES
A document from MALAN (Mutual Aid LA Network) with resources to help those affected by the LA fires find shelter, free stuff, animal boarding and more.
If you’re looking for someone in LA, or want to let your people know you’re safe, you can contact the Red Cross at (800) 675-5799.
I’ve been tracking the fires using the free Watch Duty app, which provides alerts around evacuation notices. Here’s where to sign up for a county’s own emergency alert systems.
Airbnb is providing temporary shelter for those impacted by the fires.
Disability and Disaster Hotline: 800-626-4959.
Los Angeles Unified Schools is providing mental health support for students and their families at 213-241-3840. Employees can access support at 800-882-1341.
POSTURE, ATTENTION, A QUIZ ON LOVE + OTHER STUFF
Two reads on the posture of slouching: Why Americans are Obsessed with Poor Posture and In Defence of Bad Posture: the Bad Science Behind Good Posture
An online course on Radical Attention: Attention Ativism 101
Listen and/or read: How exercise might be the most potent medical intervention ever known.
A fun, irreverent quiz: “what is love?” that is NOT click bait, is inspired by great poetry, and is also a tool for getting real and opening to possibility.
“The secret to life is not to be frightened,” 88 year old writer and painter Frederic Tuten says, “I feel at this crazy time that I’m beginning again, with a wish to not repeat myself.” NY Times gift link
With Love + Care,
you are the best - thank you for sharing ❤️
thank you 💜